not a nice girl
Thursday, October 31, 2002:
Merry Samhain, Happy New Year, Happy Halloween!
it's that time of year again! yay for dress up and stuff like that! unlike most people, i spent today taking chris to the train station and then doing laundry. so i have clean clothes! brb, have to show someone something on my template... so i'll just edit the entry or start a new one... hmmm... [4:23 PM]
[4:26 PM] back now... interesting week...
last friday went shopping with chris, helped him get the rest of his costume. had dinner at his place and we (me, chris, and carlos) got ready for dragon's halloween party. when kristina and salim came, we met up with cc and headed over to dragon's apt. leslie was already there and so were mike and his friends, and parin. party was complete once lori and niko showed up. lots of blacklight and strobelight fun. only thing that wasn't so fun was when cc was in the middle of a tarot reading and people decided to get vicious with the silly string. tried to hide under her cloak, didn't work too well. there was yummy chips and dip, yummy devilled eggs, and yummy spiced cider. fun fun fun.
saturday we went to jorell's party. it was so cute. especially when he wanted chris to carry him. hehe.
sunday, long painful tiring practice.
tuesday, got fish quiz back. baaaaaad.... missed lots of fractions of points. but i got the extra credit point for naming the TA's favorite fish: the cavernous assfish. yup. field trip was fun. fish jumped into my lap.
yesterday i didn't have to perform, but i found out i'm not that behind because we don't have to catch up with the readings, because it's pointless. i just have to wrire more. and i took my fishes midterm. didn't seem too hard... i think.
that's should be it for now. i have lots to do before tonight's festivities. for all of you going out tonight, have fun and be safe. remember, some people have school tomorrow. :oD
Jayme // 4:24 PMComments
______________________
Monday, October 28, 2002:
yup yup, at lscf. made the printers run out of paper again... as usual. tired and sickly feeling.
hey everyone, click on the linky stuff on the right side, yeah? it's neato to find that people visit your page, so if you're reading this, you might as well visit other ones too.
i'm having swapa anxiety. and if i ever write something that will be worth reading aloud, it will probably be emotional. and i feel weird being emotional in class. maybe i'll go have some hot chocolate with huuuuuuuuuuuuge marshmallows. bleh, bleh, bleh... i said "bleh" a lot today. it's a good word. describes how i feel today, which is too bad, because it was a beautiful day.
click click
Jayme // 5:00 PMComments
______________________
soooo tired... lots of dancing yesterday and my back is really feeling it. it's another busy day... ugh... maybe i'll blog later because i'll prolly end up at the life science computer facility (lscf).
Jayme // 8:48 AMComments
______________________
Sunday, October 27, 2002:
You're a very nurturing individual, always putting others before yourself. Others look to you as a positive example, as you always put work first and would never think of neglecting your duties. Although you may put up an angry front to others when you're upset, both you and they know that you truly care about them. Your caring personality may lead you to be a bit overbearing on those closest to you. Try not to get too protective, or you may drive people away. And although altruism is a very admirable trait, don't forget to think about yourself every once in awhile!
Jayme // 9:12 AMComments
______________________
Saturday, October 26, 2002:
lots of fun last night ar Dragon's party... too much fun? i dunno... lots of "kodak moments" and i want copies of them all!! this means you people... with the cameras... y'know? and then there will be justification to the term "Renaissance girl boobs." ^_~
today was kinda fun... jorell is sooo cute... even if he is sick. he was late to his own party, but it was ok. he was dressed up as winnie the pooh, and his friends were eeyore, tigger and piglet. and there was a snow white, a spiderman and a blue wild force(?) power ranger (shark guy). can you tell it was a costume party? but waking up at 8 am to drive down there and then help set up and then drive back, after staying up late partying the night before makes me very tired.
tomorrow i have practice from 11-3... whee... apparently it'll eventually be 10-3... yay... well... 10-12 is supposed to be hula with 1-3 being tahitian (yes, there is a difference), but since no one's renting the room from 12-1, then hula will prolly take over that hour. so that means that once things get settled, i'll have sunday practices 10-1 hula and 1-3 tahitian. there are every other wed practices for hula, and i forget the other day for tahitian. lots of dancing and i'm so not graceful. oh well. it's fun and it gets me moving. i was about to say it's free, but iorana te otea (tahitian) has quarterly dues. still cheaper than a belly dancing class through leisure review. they're stricter, they take roll during practices and if you can't make them, you have to call up the officers and make it up by practicing with them so you can catch up. so tomorrow is shake those hips day. as will be just about every sunday. rob gym in the side room on the right, not in the main bldg. just listen for the music. last week we danced to "too much booty in the pants" or whatever the title of the song is. eh.
back to the bang-bang-shoot-em-up game...
Jayme // 7:53 PMComments
______________________
Wednesday, October 23, 2002:
Which Animaniacs Character are You?
"You are inquisitive to the point of getting trampled, run over, and blinded, on a daily basis. "
"Why.....?"
"It could be due to your scientific nature. You long to learn how things work."
"Why.....?"
"Because you really like to know things, but are prone to getting hurt."
"Why.....?"
"Because, if it wasn't for others generally taking the fall for you, you might well be dead by now! Remember, curiosity is great, but it also killed the cat. Well, in this case, the dog, Buttons, would probably be more appropriate."
"Okay, lady, I love you, bu-bye!"
Jayme // 1:07 PMComments
______________________
Which Lady of Camelot Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
feeling sicker... this is not good. i have a meeting tonight... argh... well i'll have to be good today so i can not be sick tomorrow or friday or saturday.
Jayme // 12:50 PMComments
______________________
Monday, October 21, 2002:
feeling weird... really tired... might be getting sick. that's not good, i've got a busy week ahead of me. chicana studies just piled a whole lot of reading on this morning in an email sent at 8 am, asking us to have read lots and lots by the time we have class at 2. didn't have time. had straight classes and then getting stuff from my car from wednesday class and walking it back across campus left me about 15 mins of free time that i spent eating the food that chris and carlos got me. i might not stop by the fishes lab because i'm so tired and i still have to walk back to my room... i want a nap; is that so wrong?
first real performing for the chicana studies class starts wednesday. i'm scared. but i can't worry about that now. first of two lab midterms is tomorrow. then i can read and catch up for chicana studies, write my swapa (spoken word art performance activism). then on thursday i can cram and study and stress about my religious studies midterm. shouldn't be so bad, right? 40 questions, multiple choice. i've been going to lectures and discussions and i've done the readings.
i want boba. and sushi. but i just had boba 2 days ago. oh well.
full moon last night. and tonight. and tomorrow night. wish i could set aside time to... yeah...
halloween is next week. not sure what i'm doing. kris has an amazing costume. i'm jealous. i might walk around iv with her after i hang out with cc. i will probably be more dressed than she is. eh.
it's been so cold here. i wish it would stop.
i want to hang out with my anacapa family more. but they're usually busy. and when they're not, i am. after this year they'll all be gone.
i was thinking earlier, that i miss knowing people in my major. my friends that i made freshman and sophmore year that were bio majors switched out. they became women's studies majors, asian american studies majors, communications majors, religious studies majors, biopsychology majors, etc. amy was last to leave me last year. she's a communications major now. she was closer to getting her bio degree than i am now. oh well. i recognize people in my classes, but they've already got their friends in their major, because they went through everything together. the people that went through it with me, i rarely see them anymore.
i should stop blogging. i should go home and study study study til i see fish swimming in my sleep. hopefully they're be labeled, so i can identify them tomorrow. wish me luck.
Jayme // 4:26 PMComments
______________________
Monday, October 14, 2002:
wow that was long.
i feel better.
a little.
Jayme // 5:36 PMComments
______________________
more catching up
thanks to haloscan and okcounter, i noticed that people actually read this thing. wow. hehe. though i probably know all of you, it's still a neat thought.
note to people at home: i'm not mad at you! :oD you guys are silly, why would i be mad at you??
about the being mad at someone part. someone told me that they didn't want to hear it anymore. (watch me play the pronoun game!) they told me they were sick of it. basically i should just get over it.
that made me upset.
two full handwritten pages worth of upset. might have been longer, but i had class to attend.
i wanted to put it here, but as with most ranting, someone will get hurt. i may just scan the pages and put them up somewhere else for people that really want to know. if i scan, then real names will show up. if i type, they're all going to be replaced or blanked out.
it's a decision i'm still working on.
~-~-~-~-~
i'm trying to change myself, because i cannot change others, nor can i force change upon them. i don't want to be a wishy-washy doormat, but i don't want to be hard and harsh with people.
~-~-~-~-~
on a lighter note, i might get to help with lab research! i'd get to dissect lots of tiny, tiny fishies, cut into their brain cases and take out the little otoliths that help them hear and keep balances. i'm sure that sounds great to the rest of you. i just want lab experience. i'm going to try to start tomorrow morning (wish me luck). OH! and i have not received a rejection letter from the financial aid office. so i should call them and ask if i'm going to interview with them or anything. i hope i can, but most of campus is on strike from the 14-16 this week. i had one class cancelled today, and that class is meeting downtown at the professor's house on wed, so that we "don't have to cross picket lines." but i live on campus so to attend class wed, i'm still going to have to cross them. i have to present that day, so i have to go. and friday i'm going trawling! hehe, well i'm excited. optional field trip for fishes class.
next week should be interesting. i'm reading tarot cards and maybe runes at a golden key halloween gathering on the 24th (for those of you that didn't know already, i do stuff like that), religious studies midterm on the 25th, dragon's halloween party is on the 25th too, and then the 26th is jorell's 1st birthday party. jorell is my cousin's baby. first grandkid and such. chris is going with me to make up for missing the wedding. lots of fun stuff.
i'm in the lifesci computer lab with their neato computers that are more l33t than mine, whatever that means. chris said my computer was "not l33t." how sad. not my fault i can't afford to get a new computer. mine still works. it's a 5 yr old pentium II... blah, blah, blah... and all that stuff.
this past weekend was fun! i got to hang out with girls! for those of you at home that are confused, all i essentially do here is hang out with boys. so time with girls is a big deal. friday i went shopping and then clubbing. saturday i cleaned my room and watched knockaround guys and hung out and stuff. sunday i hung out in my clean room with kristina and picked up chris.
friday i went shopping with kim and kristina, then we picked up alyssa and had a chem lab/lots of books/mac n cheese hanging out evening. then we decided to go downtown because kristina had too much energy. so i left kim and kris to get ready while i took alyssa home. i changed and picked up the other two. they got money and we went to sharkeez. see, kristina's grad student that she works under keeps asking her if she's been to sharkeez and seen the live mermaids. she's asked me about them. and i said that they haven't had any while i was there. so we assume frank's on crack. we went in and one of the first things we see are mermaids. in a tank. swimming around. darn frank. so we drank and danced and danced and danced. oh and danced. then we went next door to scavenge to look at stuff there. then went to in n out because drinking makes me hungry. got food, went to kristina's to eat. came home. slept.
saturday, i woke up, sat at my computer. then john came by with cookies! but they weren't for me. so we talked and i cleaned. and i got ready, while he napped on my bed. then we went to kristina's. she like the cookies. well vin diesel was on the lid. and they were eminem cookies, i mean m & m, hehe. we got baja fresh because i was hungry, then saw knockaround guys. (if you really want to see it, rent it.) looked at costumes at the halloween store. went to longs drugs and carl's jr. then ack to kristina's where i finally got a cookie! (me and john were talking about them all day.) talked for a long time. dropped off john. went through a sobriety checkpoint. on campus no less. i was surprised, but sober, so no big deal.
sunday, woke up. kristina knocked on my door. she went running and ended up at my room. so she came in and we hung out and talked and had brunch (if i told you what it was, you would look at me funny. really.) went to her house so she could shower. then picked up chris. took him to longs drugs so he could buy what he forgot at home. then dropped him off. went over there later for dinner.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
i think i'm avoiding talking about how i feel here. i do that too much. often to the point that i don't really know how i feel. i know i am feeling, but i can't label it anymore. once i label it, i need to figure out why i'm feeling like this.
but things get in the way.
life gets in the way. school gets in the way. crises get in the way. some of my friends lead turbulent lives. i want to be there to help. often forsaking what i need/want/feel because i don't like seeing my friends unhappy. once they're all happy, then i'll figure out what's wrong with me. the few times it happens, i realize i don't know me. and i need to work on that.
so if i get more ranty and whiney here, it's because i don't know if i can handle being ranty and whiney in person/online/over the phone. because the last time i tried to articulate my frustrations, they got thrown back in my face.
and i got upset.
Jayme // 5:32 PMComments
______________________
Sunday, October 06, 2002:
long awaited catching up time!! though i really should be reading...
been busy with classes, and trying to find better work... craft village has a tendency to hire like 5 new people everytime someone goes on vacation so that the old person has no hours when she gets back.
lots of reading!! for every class!! well chicano studies will have even more reading when we get books and readers... but i still have to write responses to EVERYTHING. that's what i get for taking a class that requires performing once a week.
and i have to make a crapload of flashcards for biology of fishes. need to know scientific names and families, how to identify them on sight, and at least three characteristics.
and i have to memorize an early western civ map by tomorrow at noon. ugh.
and i feel like i've been way hypersensitive to a certain person's words and actions and i don't like it. it always hurts or makes me very angry. i need a way to get over it, because just talking to said person will not change things. it's been tried. and that's part of what hurts, because i don't want to be this angry.
enough for now. maybe i'll start writing on tues/thurs mornings... i don't have class til 1 pm on tues, and no class at all on thurs.
i applied to work at the financial aid office. need to watch my PO box for a rejection letter... or lack thereof. :)
Jayme // 11:11 AMComments
______________________
